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Funny Monkey Jokes

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Funny Monkey

This monkey got sent to the dugout during a baseball game for swinging the bat, well, like a monkey.

But, funny animals may exist anywhere in nature as well. For instance, cows are funny animals. Some may say they are big, dumb beasts with pretty eyes that look at you weird. But, as those who have engaged in cow-tipping can attest, bovines are indeed funny animals.

And, there are many other funny animals to be found in the wild as well. For instance, squirrels gone wild should be a TV show or video based on the escapades of these wacky animals. Besides the real life rodents and their wacky antics there is also the cartoon character Rocky J. Squirrel of "moose and squirrel" Bullwinkle fame.

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Funny Monkey Jokes

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Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

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Funny Monkey

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

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Cute Funny Monkey Pictures

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Funny Fonkey Face

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Funny Monkey

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Funny Fonkey Face

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Funny Monkey

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Funny Monkey

A lizard casually climbs up a tree in the jungle one day and find monkey sitting on a branch, smokking weed. Lizard pesters him for some, but the monkey keeps saying, " No, you are lightweight, it will go right up to your head."

Eventually, Monkey gives Lizard some weed. Lizard starts smoking the weed, and fels a bit thristy. So he goes down to lake to get some water.

While the lizard drinks water at the lake, he see Alligator who notices that he seems a bit high. Lizard tells Alligator he has been smoking some weed with the Monkey up on the tree. So Alligator goes up to Monkey to ask if he can have some.

So as Monkey's sitting there, high as a kite, waiting for Lizard to get back, he sees Alligator climb up onto the branch.

"Bloody hell!" yells Monkey, "How much freakin' water did you drink?"